The downside to blogging is that people from any part of one's life that one would much rather forget, can be nosey and find things out that are none of their business. The upside to blogging is one can choose not to care, and share as much or as little as one likes with peace about the path one is on.
I had no idea what this blog was for when it began in 2013. It eventually became an extra space for me to empty words that never made it onto the pages of my manuscripts. A safe place to keep writing. Blogging hasn't felt safe for awhile and because of the season of life I'm in, I feel like I'm being spied on. It wouldn't matter what I share (positive, negative or a report on the weather) or how raw the words - I don't need anyone knowing the depths of my heart. That's why I write fiction . . . so I don't have to be vulnerable in real life. I have more compassion for my characters than I do for myself, but at least I can admit it.
Thank goodness for words. They are therapeutic and dangerous; they comfort and expose. And words are magic.
If I would have known back when The Solicitation (2013) was published that about five years later I would find the rug pulled out from under me and my life turned upside down, taking me down a path that led me to my own Waldorf Manor, I wouldn't believe it. I wouldn't choose it, no matter how idyllic. However, I am not a pessimist, and aim to take every heartache, trauma, challenge and blind-side in my life with as much ambition for thriving as possible. That's right. Thriving. There is surviving, and there is the choice to go miles beyond that, which is to flourish in such a way as to be unrecognisable from the previous chapter. And that is where I currently find myself:
Through a series of unexpected circumstances, major letdowns, even betrayal, I found myself in a position where I had to make a decision about where I should lay down roots. Start over. Heal. Forget. And flourish. Ambition has not escaped me. In fact, it's stronger than it ever was. I'm focused and driven, determined to succeed in a way that satisfies my passion because now that's all I have. A plump bank account will never quench a thirst for ambition, but experiences that confirm you're headed toward your goals and dreams keep the fire going. Mine never goes out. I have lofty, seemingly unattainable dreams (according to some people) and yet I am 30 and have ticked some good goals off my list. But let me just say - I have barely scratched the surface. Seven novels and two novellas in four years is not even close to satisfying me. This is the appetiser before the appetiser, if you like, in the repas entrée-plat-dessert.
When least expected,
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